Look Closley...

There's a heart in the middle of the pattern on this small band-aid... It actually jumped out at me from the ground...

Home is Where the Heart is...

I found these two hearts in the driveway right outside my apartment... I didn't have my cellphone with me, so I couldn't take the photo of them where I found them as I have been doing, but I'll forgive myself and my obsessive-compulsive nature just this one time. Something didn't feel right about going back out and "re-staging the scene" of the heart finding incident, and I didn't want to risk not finding them amongst the gravel of the driveway if I went to get the camera...

I heard today that Kelly has been noticing hearts now, too. She's not the first person that has told me that after hearing the story of Mom's hearts they have started finding them as well. I'm thrilled that Mom's energy/love/Force/spirit (whatever you want to call it) is still being spread around in this special way. It's the only thing that makes the horrible emptiness of missing her in any way bearable.

Back when I was in college, one of my ex's (Paul) ended up coincidentally being cast in a play with Mom, Dad, and Matt a few years after our relationship had ended. At the time, the irony and awkwardness added just the right amount of silly drama in my own little world, since this was my first "real" relationship and, as they often do, it ended with heartbreak. We had stayed in touch a little, but until I went to see the play (which, by the way, featured a scene in which Paul and my Dad's characters had a drunken slow-dance together) we hadn't really been close since it ended. Mom, Paul and I spent a lot of time together over the few weekends of the show (including a secretive late-night post-castparty drive that I won't commit to the permanency of the written word, but suffice to say we laughed a lot and had a major case of the munchies when we got home). Ever since then, Paul and I have stayed in touch.

So you may be asking what does this have to do with the cost of tea in China...

Well, Paul once told me that he loved Mom from the first time they met. (It was ironic, because we spent the duration of our relationship sneaking around to avoid having to explain who/what he was to me-- had the timing been different, he would have LOVED the in-laws.) He said that he found her easy to talk to and referred to her as "an old spirit" whose presence has obviously been in the world much longer than her physical body. It profoundly impacted the way I looked at my relationship with my mother, allowing me to see her, perhaps for the first time consciously, as someone other than "mom." She didn't let people in easily, but when she did she was fully engaged in that relationship. She had tons of acquaintance-friends, but relatively few deeply close friendships. I'm very much the same way. But Paul was so right about her-- she IS an old spirit, and I know that me finding the hearts is how the universe keeps me connected to her. And I know that the fact that some people that are important to me tell me that they find them now too is just the ripple effect of that love.

Water Taxi

Rachel, Tobey and I spent the day on Sunday out at Fire Island. We walked from The Pines to Cherry Grove (adjacent island communities predominantly inhabited by the LBGTQ) and took the water taxi back to The Pines. It was a great day of mellow strolls with good friends along the boardwalks of a little beach town. It made me miss having a share out there. I need to try to figure out a way to budget that in for next summer.

Look Close...

Tiny little heart on the carpet. I cant' believe I actually SEE these as I pass over them.

CURTAINS Stage door

I love the stage door! This is a (not so good) photo of Debra Monk, who was amazing. David Hyde Pierce was adorable as the detective who would rather be on stage with the cast than interrogating them under suspicion of murdering the atrocious, no-talent diva killed while on-stage in an out-of-town preview. Photos of me with him at the stage door to follow... I asked him for his phone number, but he just let out a nervous chuckle and signed my program. Oh well...

Giving in...

I miss my washer and dryer!

I finally gave in and schlepped to the laundromat. I had to find one fo those gi-normous laundry emporiums that can accomodate some schmuck like me that hogs 8 triple-load machines at once... Most of the places near me onle have 10 machines to begin with...

I miss the days of being able to toss a load of undies in before I left for work and transfer to the drier when I get home. Taking an entire evening out of my life (and missing re-runs of "Law and Order: Special Vicitms Unit"-- sigh) really annoys me.

Enough Said...